Try wearing some scandalous lingerie and bending, stretching, bouncing, or rushing a little too much so that it “accidentally” falls out, or gives a peep, for your lover’s eyes.

This will make the apple of your eye think you always dress like that and/or have very hot thoughts about peeling off the cloths down to the lingerie.

There’s always the old fall-back of changing the sex location. (Hey baby, how about we “dine” in the living room?)  There are always guides to new erotic positions. (Hey baby, how about we take up yoga?) But nothing really beats mixing it up.

That is why I’d recommend “52 Weeks of Naughty Nights,” a grab bag of ways to mix it up. Some of the ideas are cliché (“dining” on the coffee table in the living room rather than the couch) but others are a bit more naughty. Curious? Pick it up and see what you grab in this bag . . .

It’s possible their technique is at fault - men can be remarkably ignorant on how to please a woman in bed - but as all of your partners have failed to help you reach orgasm, it seems it could be more your problem than theirs.

Here’s a movie that might help her, and her boyfriend, out.

For loving the ladies:

1. Try flat-tongued figure eights over the entire length of her vulva to build excitement, as opposed to focusing on orgasm.

2. Don’t be rough with that clit, until your dame is good and ready for it (and you’ll know when, ’cause she’ll be grabbing your head!).

3. And get your hands dirty, goddammit. Making a chick come good is a whole body affair.

As for sucking cock, here are a few ground rules:

1. Blow your nose first because you gotta be able to breathe, right?

2.Become a member
Get comfy ’cause you’re going to be there a while (same thing with pussy), and…

3. Make noises. Many men love it when you slobber over their dick.

Toys definitely need a gentle hand. Male lovers can view them as competition. The best way to steer clear of such nonsense is to make him see that they can be pleasurable for both of you.

Start him off with a small to medium sized vibrator, and gently run it up and down his shaft so he feels some waves of his own. If you’re feeling really naughty (or goofy) use the Jesse Jane’s Verbal Vibration pictured below. It is hard for a man to feel like he’s playing second fiddle while listening to his woman moan and Jesse Jane exclaim, “Fuck me!”

What more introduction is needed?

So I thought I’d go over some technique, but am having a hard time not typing JUST DIDDLE IN THE MIDDLE.

Seriously, just take some time to figure it out. The easiest manual, unassisted (without a toy) way is to use your hand to stimulate your clitoris. Try different paces, rotations, taps, gentle to hard pressure etc.

It will help you know what you like when you’re with a lover. It also helps one relax during an orgasm and b more present during the lovemaking, rather than just getting washed away by the feeling.

There is also a plethora of reading, video material out there on the subject should you need more info.

When I was a promiscuous young man (read: straight college boy), I had lots of casual sex. I particularly loved anal sex. And I very particularly loved rough, unlubricated anal sex with those wonderful women who enjoyed the same. I swore that I would never be with a woman who didn’t love anal.

But I am now dating a woman whom I love intensely and who is open to anal sex, but we just can’t make it happen. Toys, fingering, eating ass, fucking – it all hurts her. She is a ballerina and, therefore, small with a tight frame. I know that you probably don’t have some super-secret gay-guy ass-sex trick, but is there a best plan of action here? She wants to do it, but obviously neither of us wants to see her hurt. Please help. This is important to me.

Boy Wants Anal Action

Toys, if they’re too big and ineptly employed, can hurt. Fingers, with their bony knuckles and sharp nails, can hurt. Fucking can hurt. But eating ass never hurt anyone. I mean, tongues and sparkling-clean buttholes go together like rama-lama-lama-ke-ding-a-de-dinga-a-dong.

So unless you’re wearing a diamond-encrusted grill or you studied eating ass under Jeffrey Dahmer, there are only three plausible explanations for this baffling assertion, listed here in ascending order of plausibility: 1. Your tongue is 4 feet long and it irritates her esophagus when you rim her. 2. She’s got a very serious medical condition – chronic fissures? terminal hemorrhoids? suppurating gunshot wound? – that she hasn’t told you about because she doesn’t want or need your damn pity. 3. She doesn’t like anal and never will, but she’s telling you what you want to hear.

But, hey, let’s take her at her word: she wants it. So what can you do to make it happen? First, forget those women you met at college who liked their anal rough and unlubricated. (Where the fuck did you go to college? The University of North Carolina at Bloody Stool?) Most people – sober people, male and female people, people who want to live to get fucked another day – require tons of foreplay and gallons of lube before buttfucking. The foreplay can include rimming, fingers, vibrators and the slow, sensuous application of lube – lots and lots of lube. Then, once everyone is nice and relaxed, you slowly penetrate your partner, giving his or her anal sphincters plenty of time to relax.

If you’ve been doing all this and it hasn’t worked, well, then dating this dancer means going without anal.